"Life isn't about finding yourself. It's about creating yourself."
~George Bernard Shaw
A Walk Through Uncertainty
The first time I got to know uncertainty intimately, I was eight years old. In a matter of minutes, all that I loved, my dog, cat, guinea pigs, blue journal, and bell-bottom style jeans, were forever taken in our family's house fire. My fifteen-year-old brother stepped out of the house and onto the driveway, his entire body engulfed flames, a burn victim who was lucky to survive. That image and his screams of pain during recovery will be forever burned into my soul. So too, is his strong example of courage and compassion through trauma.
Our family was too poor to move to a new location. Instead, we would have to wait to rebuild and moved quickly into survival mode for many years to come. I would come to know what it was like to go without heat and hot water in the cold New Hampshire winter. I held a love/hate relationship with the free lunch program at school. As I was giving birth to feelings of gratitude, I grappled with feelings of embarrassment.
That period of life was the most memorable and impactful time in life where handling stress is concerned. I journaled every day, often perched on a rock in the middle of the woods on our family's property. I took four-mile walks in those days down long country roads. Nature was and is my medicine. The forest was my secret space to try and make sense of it all. It's where I first got to know myself. I wrote stories for years in and out of school about our family's experience. In the process of growing older, I learned to appreciate and contemplate all that was good and dysfunctional about coping with trauma.
I was also a child who had to deal with being abandoned by a father during those tragic circumstances. My mother and four siblings left to pick up the pieces. It took years to deal with my emotions and remove the bitterness because no one had the tools to deal with it. At the same time, I began to feel proud of the magic that existed in our family. This magic-connection to the family is what would carry me through the next phase of life. Creativity bloomed in those days and continues in this second half of my life. I am proof it's possible to create beautiful things amidst the chaos, which I help other women do today!
When I was twenty-three, I would come to greet uncertainty with substantial courage I believe was influenced by my childhood traumas. That's the benefit of having gone through trauma. You think you can do anything! I am proof you can do anything and everything over a long period without any problem. Then, a big problem brews when we haven't learned to deal with stress well along the way. We women are built to go on and on in survival mode until one day we've sacrificed a great deal of ourselves in the process. I learned the hard way what can happen to your body, mind, and spirit if neglected too long.
This uncertainty phase followed a day in the park with my boyfriend of three years. We were running through an exercise course. Days later, I would be running one hand along his motionless legs and the other along a ventilator tube, praying for his survival. He had been permanently paralyzed, and we would never again run together through the park. That first day in the hospital, I whispered in his ear, "It's a new beginning," I said. It was also the beginning of how I would come to learn to take better care of myself.
I would fulfill a role as a primary caregiver to this man I loved for close to two decades. After adapting to change many times over in those first few years following his injury, we married. Years later, and against all odds, we were blessed to become parents through in-vitro fertilization to biological twin daughters. When the girls were five years old, we had what others call a 'weird' and successful divorce and co-parenting experience! We are all still holding strong and I am happily remarried. My personal success has everything to do with a decision to once and for all make self-care my #1 priority in life!
I am not here today because I've suffered some trauma. I'm here with you because I know you've suffered or are suffering now. Self-care isn't just a lifestyle choice for me. It is a packaged result of all that I've learned over the years and can pay forward. Years ago, A female coach recognized the impact I could have on other women by sharing my journey through self-care. My brother, family, and father of my children serve as role models, and the thought of them grounds me in my daily work. The mentors, teachers, and coaches along the way have all taught me how to package my purpose and serve others without sacrificing my health. I can't wait to help you do the same!
Carrie Michele Myers
Hello. My name is Carrie, and I’m a recovering perfectionist.
Do you sometimes feel like this path of growth and healing is like being in a recovery group?
Well, it kind of is…
If you’re not totally familiar with perfectionism, let’s just say that it comes with a lot—and I mean a LOT—of baggage you end up dragging with you over the years. From people-pleasing to procrastinating to an eating disorder, being a perfectionist brings with it a bunch of limiting beliefs that do just that. They limit you from being your best self. They limit you from shining your light. They limit you from living into your greatness. They limit you from living out your dreams. And I was
no exception to this rule.
Anorexia was one of the side-effects of my perfectionism. At a time when I felt I had no control over many things in my life, anorexia become my way to regain some level of control—or so I thought.
Even after the crisis period of anorexia
ended, I carried the anorexic mindset with me for many years—well into my 40s.
Anorexia had become my security blanket. When things in my life seemed chaotic and out of control, I could flip the switch and shut down any hunger. I also shut down anything going in or out of my mouth, including food and communication.
At times, I almost shut down completely…
Let me present you with the “big picture” of my life. I am the oldest of three. I was valedictorian of my small high school class. Throughout high school, I was involved in everything I could be involved in—sports, drama, music…work. From the time I was 14-years-old I have worked. I was also a missionary-pastor’s kid (an MPK for those in that circle), which is what got us to move from Western NY to northern NH in the early 80s in the middle of my freshman year in high school.
Talk about culture shock!
While I have always lived in rural areas, back then, it was like two different worlds (the internet has greatly leveled the playing field!). The fashion was different. The accents were different (I could not understand the New England accent, which some of my new teachers had, where they left “Rs” off of words where they belonged and plunked them into words where they didn’t…like, “Pahk your cah in the doah yahd.”).
Oh, and the school? I remember pulling up in front of it for the first day of school and saying to my parents, “You’re making us go to school in a big, old haunted house…”
I was furious with my parents for moving us there! The things that I was “into” in NY, this school lacked, like art and a real music program. In NY, we played soccer. Here, the girls played field hockey. I had never even heard of field hockey—and ironically, loved it once I was playing it!
The real irony, however, is that I still live here. After college, I got married, had four sons, and was a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) after my second son was born, since we could not justify me working to basically pay for daycare.
During my 13 years as a SAHM, I homeschooled my boys and began freelance writing for magazines. I also wrote a book which was published by a small independent publisher and later bought by a much larger independent publisher. Squeezing Your Size 14 Self into a Size 6 World: A Real Woman’s Guide to Food, Fitness, and Self-Acceptance was a way for me to put all my thoughts into one neat package that didn’t have a word count I had to meet (like I did for magazine articles).
Little did I know when I started writing that it would eventually become a large part of my income after my divorce. Yes, I said the “D” word…
I won’t go into details, but let’s just say that it was messy…very messy…and heartbreaking. Once my ex-husband could no longer directly control me, he controlled me through our sons. The best advice I was given from a friend who had been through a similar situation was, “Just keep loving them and be patient. They’ll figure it out.” And they did.
Those first few years after the divorce I made some unhealthy decisions to try and numb and escape the pain, which just added to my already unhealthy spirit. While I had done some personal development work through the years, it was always done in small spurts and sprinkles. I never really did a deep dive into it and always had the, “I already know that” attitude.
Knowing and doing, however, are two different things. I was all about
education—educating myself on the ways to change habits, thoughts, and
behaviors—but never really diving into it to get a real transformation for myself. I wasn’t putting my knowledge into action to reach a break-through level and create lasting change. All the “knowing” I had going on in my head also wasn’t enough to prevent me from eventually having enough of this life and the pain it brought with it. On a cold, dreary, rainy night in October, I attempted to take my own life…and thankfully failed.
God had other plans for me, and I am thankful every day for that! My purpose on this earth had not been fulfilled yet, which is why I am now where I am with YOU. After that life-changing experience, I sort of sailed along through life in a mediocre kind of way. I had work, my bills were (mostly) paid, I had a roof over my head, food on my table, but I was still playing “small” and “safe”. I wasn’t living a life of abundance, financially or otherwise. Having had some health issues and 10 surgeries within a four-year period, which put some major financial strain on me, I was blessed to have friends who helped me in ways that are immeasurable. But I was still using these health issues as an excuse as to why I was just sort of treading water with my business and life. If I was an emoji, I’d be the “meh” emoji.
Enter the year 2020. I had been working in cardiac rehab at our local hospital for about 10 months to supplement my self-employed income when the department was shut down due to covid-19 and I was put on furlough. Depending on your own work situation at that time, you might be able to completely relate with the whole unemployment thing and trying to get money from it. At a time when I was feeling like I was making a little progress financially and catching up on bills, it was a sudden hit to my bank account—and my feelings of financial security. Not only did I lose the job in cardiac rehab, but now I also couldn’t conduct business as usual with my clients and classes.
I had started several online/social media groups in the past, but never stuck with them. It was time to finally go for it and step into my “genius zone”. Not familiar with a genius zone? We all have one (or more) of these zones. You know you’re in your zone when you light up like a Christmas tree when you talk about it, you’re as passionate as a Harlequin romance novel, and excited as a child on Christmas morning anticipating the gifts under that tree. Okay, corny, I know, but what excites you? If you’ve allowed life to engulf you and swallow your dreams up, then what used to excite you? What did you dream of when you were a little girl?
Where did those dreams go?
I’ve had many dreams over the years, many of which I abandoned as being silly, selfish, short-sighted, or all of the above. Or some of them I felt were just too difficult, too impossible, or too attention-seeking (do you sense some limiting
Despite all the doubts and fears, one thing I did know was that I was put on this earth to encourage other women to love and accept who they were created to be.
Enter Amy. Well, actually, Amy and I have known each other since high school. She was friends with my younger sister…and I have recently found out that she and my sister would sneak into my room when I wasn’t there and check it out. But I digress…haha. Amy and I were also in the same beauty pageant, while she was in high school and I was in college. Yep, the Miss Lilac Pageant. Neither of us won the title, but we both placed and won a little money for school.
Back to the pandemic. I knew what I wanted to accomplish—to create a place online for women to encourage them to engage in self-care, to show them that self-care is not selfish, and to show them that engaging in self-care on every level—body, mind, and soul—is the path to true authenticity. I also knew I needed a partner to help me with this mission and Amy immediately came to mind.
Turns out, reaching out to her has been one of the best things I’ve ever done. My desire to start this group for women turned into a weekly online show, which in turn, has become a formal business for the two of us. We both have different strengths and they complement each other imperfectly perfectly.
The path to get to this point hasn’t been easy or comfortable. Growth and personal development never is easy or comfortable. In fact, it’s often painful and hard and can just suck. But there are always gifts in those times of pain and discomfort—if we open ourselves and accept the gifts.
I am thankful for every slippery stepping-stone, every mountain, and every valley that I’ve gone through to get where I am today. And I can say that with honesty and authenticity. If I hadn’t gone through some of the, ahem, poop, that I’ve been through, I wouldn’t be where I am today.
I wouldn’t have had the opportunities to learn the lessons I’ve learned, I couldn’t understand and empathize with women who have gone through similar situations, and I wouldn’t have experienced the
growth that I have had in this life. I mean, let’s face it. What is used as fertilizer for plants? Manure! And what is manure? Poop! So you can take that shit and use it to grow you into the person you want to be…or you can use it to suffocate your growth. The cool thing is…YOU
get to choose!
This—THIS—is what lights me up! There is so much I want to share with you and would love the opportunity to watch you grow and bloom into the woman you were created to be! Amy and I both want to show you that self-care is really family-care. And that authenticity lies in taking good care of yourself on every level—physically, mentally, and spiritually. And we would love the opportunity to share all of this with you!
It took me a long time to love the woman I was created to be—and know that it is okay to be me. I was told at various times of my life that I was an attention-seeking bitch (when I was being out-going and extraverted) and that I was a snobby bitch (when I was trying to be less out-going and more demure). One of the best compliments I’ve received recently was when a friend of mine was introducing me to her daughter and she said, “Courtney, this is the friend I’ve been telling you about. Carrie’s a life coach and a Christian and I think you’d really benefit from working with her. But she’s not one of these judgmental, uppity, trying to be perfect kind of Christians. She’ll drop an F-bomb now and then. She’s
I just F-ing love that woman…
Create Your Own Fun!
Mission Statement & Influence
“Attitude is the difference between an ordeal and an adventure.”
To move women out of overwhelming personal setback into overwhelming possibilities for the future through self-care mastery.
We draw inspiration from nature and gain influence in our work from the meanings of two flowers:
Calla Lillies and Dahlias.
According to one description, Calla Lillies are a "symbol of:
Resurrection and overcoming challenges, as the flowers can survive deep frosts and start regrowing in a vase."
According to one description of Dahlias, they represent:
Staying graceful under pressure
Drawing on your inner strength
Standing out from the crowd
Making a significant, positive life change
We aim to influence contribution-driven women to make self-care a #1 priority for the sake of stronger communities, relationships, family health, and personal fulfillment.
Dressed Up Or Down We Love to Have FUN!
We Invite You To Play Along With Us!
When I was young I used to sneak into Carrie Michele's room to admire the collages she designed and that hung on her wall. I wanted to recapture those days by putting together one of my own!